WELCOME TO FABULOUS FASHION FRIDAY (I am not my hair)

Ms. India's Arie's song I am not my hair was a huge popular song, I guess because finally someone was breave enough not only to sing we don't have to be a slave to conformity of our hair but she was living what she was singing about! We are Not our hair or are we?

It's a beautiful Friday morning and I wake up thinking of all the things I need to do.  Lately, I've been going through some sort of emotional battle as to what I should do to and with my hair.  I know you're thinking is it really that serious.  Well many of you know our hair is our glory! We spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on our hair.  I know at one time I was a slave to what we call creamy crack (perm cream) well I haven't permed my hair in over ten years. 

Here's my story; At one time I had locs they were long and beautiful but I began to get bored with them and could not decide whether I wanted to keep them or not.  It had taken me years to decide to finally loc my hair.  Everytime I saw someone with locs I would think how beautiful they were.  When I finally made the decision and started the locs it was a journey unlike any other.  I believe and this is nothing personal to anyone, but I don't think the begining stage is attractive on women especially on me. No matter what I wore or did I felt like the ugly ducking until my locs were long enough to put into a small ponytail. Now one would imagine that after lusting after other peoples locs one would not cut her hair after going thru the ugly stage, but noooooooooo not me.  What do I do I cut them!  I know i'm a lunatic.  Several family members and friends tried to talk me out of it but I didn't listen and that was a huge mistake.  I was sooooooooo miserable after I cut them I felt like someone had cut off my strength yes I'm thinking Sampson! lol

Well for some people nothing teaches them better than experience.  So here I go through the second go-round of locking my hair.  This time around I may trim them at some point or have them cut into a style but I think locs are my hair soulmate, like some women's hair soulmate is braids, or perm.  After so many years of perming my hair never had I felt so beautiful and such a connection as when I had my locs. 

Now as with anything in life everything is not for everyone. So going natural is not for everyone just as much as much as using a perm is not for everyone.  Whatever it is you choose to do, Be you! Be Beautiful!  Find your hair soulmate.

Whatever you decide you are not your hair!

Hugs and Blessings, Val

WELCOME TO WELLNESS WEDNESDAY (The A B C's of vitamins)

I don't know about you, but all the information on vitamins, what's good for us and what's not is over whelming. What's a diva too do?  I try my best to eat right and exercise(cough cough).  Now while I may not be as diligent with exercising, I am a stickler for taking vitamins.  Despite the old adage "good black don't crack"  Neglecting my health is not an option. 

Often times we as women  give to everyone and everything until we are completely spent!  As we mature we are so drained and tired our health begins to fade!  That's unacceptable.  So in an effort to educate myself and hopefully you as well.  I've been researching the benefits of vitamins.

There are several vitamins that are considered great for the skin. Vitamins A, C and E they are all known as antioxidants.  Other vitamins that benefit the skin are the B complex vitamins, to ward off stress on the skin.

Vitamin A also know as retinol increases skin turnover, let's face it we all want to age gracefully and not end up looking like the crypt keeper! LOL Vitamin A encourages immature skin cells to mature and come to the surface as new, fresh skin cells, which is why it is used in many of the anti aging products on the market.  If you have dull, dry, drab looking skin it might be due to slow skin cell turnover.

So ladies get that Vitamin A working for you.

Here's a list of the top 10 foods with vitamin A

Liver - turkey liver provides the most vitamin A
Paprika, Red Pepper, Cayenne and Chili Powder all provide Vitamin A
Dried Herbs
Sweet Potato
Carrots
Dark Leafy Greens
Lettuce
Dried Apricot
Cantaloupe

Let's get healthy inside and out!

You had it, You lost it, Now it's time to get it back!

I woke up this morning with soooooo much on my mind. I thought ok today is Marvelous Motivational Monday, what could I possibly share with my family, friends, viewers and the world today. I had nothing, zero, zilch! I was blank! So what do I do? I pull up you tube and search for music that would feed my mind and soul. Whhhhhhhhhha laa! (is that how you spell it?) lol anyway the creative juices started to flow.  Someone posted on fb a picture of one of my old Pastor's he was a great man and founder of a church I grew up in.  One of his most memorable messages was "You had it, You lost it, now You need to get it back".  I'm sure I've touched on this topic before but it is certainly work addressing again and maybe again down the line. 
At one time or another in our lives most of us have had dreams, great big lofty dreams.  Dreams to be successful in a particular career, dreams of being in love, dreams of owing a home, or a business, dreams of being a parent the list goes on and on.  Some where along the road called life events, people, circumstances either delayed those dreams or snatch them away all together.

So my motiviational word to you does not stop at you had a dream or that you lost the dream it is now it's time to get it back.  What do we need to do to reclaim our dreams? If  you've already reclaimed them then it's time to go a step further and makes those dreams a reality.

Having a dream is the easy part, turning those dreams into a reality is something entirely different but many a successful people can testify to the fact that they've accomplished their dreams. 

But wait! let me back track for a second, when was the last time you've had a great dream? What did you dream of?  Is that dream attainable? What would you need to obtain the dream?  Take a minute or two or three and ask yourself those questions.

Age, Race, Sex none of those things matters to a dream. No matter what your station is in life you can always dream. In fact, dreams at times are the only things keeping us from falling all to pieces.

The beautiful thing about dreams is that you can be, go, say and do whatever you choose to do.   find a quiet peaceful place, close your eyes, breathe nice and deep allow your body to relax.  Go ahead and dream.  You had it! You lost it...................... Hello Dream welcome back!

Hugs and Blessings, Val

FABULOUS FASHION FRIDAY (Woman in the Mirror)

Let's just cut right to the chase! Are you happy with the image you see in the mirror?  There is soooooo much mixed information regarding women's body image.  The fashion industry for years would have us believe that to be beautiful you needed to look like a candidate for feed the children.  On top of that we needed to have straight hair and blue eyes (clutch the pearls) oh no she didn't! Yes I said it. LOL as time goes on things are changing.  We still have a ways to go but I can see a lot more women in the fashion industry that resemble me an African American woman than we would have seen years ago.  What is even more beautiful is we are seeing more and more woman embrace their natural beauty from head to toe.  Now don't get me wrong, I love make up just as much as the next diva, but make up or not if you're not comfortable in your own natural skin makeup won't change a thing.

Recently there was a story on aol news stating that African American women had more confidence in their bodies than our counterparts well duh!  There's an old expression that says don't nothing want a bone but a dog!  What we were naturally born with, people are paying top dollar to have. Lips full of collegen, booty implants, breast implants, etc.

So if you are not happy with your body image you need to do something to change that. No one or nothing can make you feel better about your body. I've shared my story of having gastric bypass surgery, part of the reason was I was so unhappy with my body and my image, the bigger reason however was I didn't want my parents to loose another child due to a heart attach which is how we lost my only sister at the tender age of 40.

At the time of my surgery I was exactly 100lbs over weight that was ridiculous! At 5'4 I had no business walking around with all that extra weight and I was miserable, tired and in pain physcially, emotionally and mentally.

We all sang and swayed when Michael J. encouraged us to change the world by starting with the Man in the mirror.

Today I am healthy and definitely happier. I like the woman I see in the mirror and when I don't I do what I feel I need to change things until I am happy.

In this second stage of my life, I am very happy with my body. I love my natural hair, my full lips, the curve of my hips. I'm not starving myself so I can look like a starving woman from a third world country wearing juicy couture!


Val's Fashion Friday Fav!  Ladies if you don't want or can't afford to buy retail store brand makeup there is a great lower cost makeup line called Milani. You can find the brand in your local cvs, walgreens and walmart stores. It's beautiful makeup at a fraction of the cost of designer name brand makeup.

Hugs and Blessings, Val

WELCOME TO WELLNES WEDNESDAY (The benefits of Yoga)

Before I begin let me make my disclaimer I am  not an excercise guru of any kind, nor am I a doctor or even a personal trainer.  I am just a woman on a journey and I would love to take everyone with me.  So I share as much of myself as possible.  I don't know much about yoga, but I have heard some good things about it in fact enough good things that I've been considering trying it.  Back in 2005 just before I moved to Virginia, I was in a serious car accident.  A driver ran a stop sign and it my car.  It hit my car so hard, it made my little car jump the curb and wedged into the hedges of a home.  The fire department had to cut me out of the vehicle.  Now the good news and believe it or not there is some good news to it!  I am still here. The not so good news is that I sustained several herniated disc which causes me pain and stiffness in my upper shoulders, neck and back.  The doctors told me there was nothing that could be done, it's something I will have to live with it. So I have really thought about trying it. 

I read a great article from Heart and Soul magazine that list some of the benefits of Yoga.  No matter what you choose to do studies have confirmed that people who exercise tend to live longer.  Excercise has not only caused people to loose weight but it has also helped people who are on medications become free of medication.

So ladies it's time to find our stride, with some sort of exercise be it, walking, running, zumba, weight training etc.  A healthy body is a happy, sexy body!

Hugs and Blessings, Val

http://www.heartandsoul.com/2012/04/77-surprising-health-benefits-of-yoga/

Do You REALLY Know How Blessed You Are?

One day last week I was watching tv, the show was about a real murder mystery only it wasn't such a mystery.  The story was about a Father of a young woman from another country who felt she had dishonored her family  and religious belief.  The Father sat in his truck and waited for his daughter who was no longer living with the family.  When she came outside of a government building he knew she was in he drove his truck hitting her as well as her aunt.  The Aunt, his sister-in-law sustained injuries but his daughter unfortunately, died.  Not only was I horrified and saddened by the story it made me think and appreciate how blessed I was to be born and live in the United States.  I could not even begin to think what it would be like to be apart of a family or a culture that does not allow me to be who I am and want to be.

This past weekend was fabulous, my Auntie and Uncle along with two of my cousins came for a visit from New York.  They came down on Saturday and left Sunday.  Although it was a short visit I was so happy to see them and spend time with them.  The only drawback to the visit was unfortunately my Auntie got was very sick.  She believed it was from something she ate when she stopped at a rest stop on her way down to VA.  Sunday morning she was feeling much better.  Something she said really resonated with me.  She said I feel much better, thank God I don't feel like this all the time.

We began to talked about my Dad and how very sick he is and how with all of his ailments, he is still here with us and he doesn't complain.  My dad has been very sick for the past few years. last March he was so sick we really didn't think he would make it out of the hospital, but thanks be to God he survived.

Every day I watch him slowly move through the house with an oxygen tube he has to have 24 hours a day.  He also has to do a breathing treatment 3 times a day and he has to have dialysis 3 days a week.  My Father is my hero.  He worked for the EMS/FDNY for 40 years and retired 6 months after 9/11.   A man who was once tall, healthy and strong, is now a shell of his former self due to his illnesses.   When he comes home from dialysis he is so week he can barely walk and needs help doing something as simple as taking his coat or jacket off!

Seeing my dad weak and suffering hurts me to my heart, but it also makes me appreciate a lot of things and reminds me of how blessed I am.  I'm blessed to still have him here with us.  He could have been one of the many who was lost in that tragedy of 911.

Everyday of our life is not always sunshine and rainbows, however if we really examine our lives we will see that we are truly blessed. Sometimes you have to learn to appreciate even the smallest things in life to the greatest things.  Being healthy and free from illness and ailments is a BLESSING.  Being able to open your refrigerator and pantry and find something to eat is a blessing.  To have family and friends who love and support you is a blessing.

To walking into your closet and having a choice of what you want to wear is a BLESSING.  To enjoy going to work or even having a job to go to is a blessing. 

If you have a roof over your head and are not sleeping outdoors in a cardboard box you are BLESSED!

Yes there are plenty of things to complain and whine about, but there are just as many things to give thanks for.  So take some time each day to appreciate how BLESSED You Are!

Hugs and Blessings, Val

FASHION FRIDAY To Wear or NOT to Wear (What's your Brand/Style) Part II

Ok my lovely ladybugs, time to pick up where we left off. This time of the year is reserved for bare arms, legs and back. A pedicure is a necessary not a whim. Which I might add, ashy, crusty feet with chipped and missing polish is NOT sexy. You can't afford the luxury of a pedicure, then do it yourself.  If you can't keep polish on then filed, lotioned feet with clear polish toes can't be beat! Whatever you choose there is no excuse.

However I digress! I LOVE a sundress and my fav is a maxi dress, they are free flowing, ultra chic and tre'fab lol that's my version of french!  Anywho, you can dress a sundress up or you can play it down, smooth and casual.  I also like that anyone with any shape can wear a sun dress.

Now with that being said let's address something else of great importance, although anyone can wear a sundress, not all dresses are the same just as not all bodies are the same.  Ladies no matter your size the right Undergarments is crucial!!!!!!!! I cannot stress that enough!

If your bra size is a 49 triple J then you might want to stay away from strapless or spaghetti strap dresses with no support, however if you are like me a standing member of the itty bitty titty committee, then strapless may work for you. This is not said to offend anyone, I say this with love.  We have to be realistic and honest. The reality is everyone is not shaped the same way so we all cannot wear the same things. 

Whatever you choose don't just buy it because it looks good on the mannequin or because your neice ten years your junior has the same dress and she looks O'so cute in it.  Fashion has changed so much over the years and for the better in most cases. Even if you are a full figured woman or just very curvy there is a Sundress out there for you.  No longer are full figured women subjected to wearing large sheets of material we use to call MooMoo's so there is NO EXCUSE!

Ladies embrace your curves, what better way to celebrate our beauty and curves than a lovely sundress, short or long. Show those long sexy legs and feet in some sassy, sexy sandals.

As the old saying goes, because it's made in your size doesn't mean you have to buy it and wear it!

Stay true to you and wear what compliments you!


Since we are addressing fashion information, I'd like to add to fashion friday's some fab products that we can all enjoy.  If you have any recommendations, please feel free to share.  My first recommendation is

CoverGirl Queen collection (Blastflipstick), these are fabulous and allows you to have several different looks.

Hugs and Blessings, Val

Wellness Wednesday (Our Breast is Killing Us!) LADIES PLEASE READ IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE

Today I'd like to discuss something so very serious and pertinent to our lives.  I fully believe to live a happy, productive, life we have to have BALANCE.  That means we should have peace, joy and fulfilment in every aspect of our lives.  What sense does it make to have your finances together and your health is a raggedy mess or vice versa.  You cry out to the Lord that you are lonely but your an emotional train wreck waiting to happen.  You want a Man that looks like a male muscle mag model but you look like the Stay puff girl! Come on ladies we have to do better. One of my favorite shows is the Biggest Loosers this season's theme is No excuses.  We can't continue to play the blame game for our poor health.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, WALKING is FREE!

I was reading Essence magazine and there is a great article on Breast Cancer and the huge gap concerning the death rate for Black women from that of our counterparts.

Although fewer black women than white women are diagnosed with breast cancer, black women die at a much higher rate than white women.

A study done by the Avon Foundation was conducted in 24 Cities.  Of those cities the disparity was very high in 21 of the 24 cities. That is awful and unacceptable.

The Six worst Cities are as follows: Memphis, Denver, Los Angeles, Houston, Chicago and Milwaukee.

Ladies we have to do better and demand better!

Here some recommendations to turn things around:

• If you are over 40, get a yearly mammogram.
• Demand access to a high quality digital mammograms
• Ask whether the radiologist reading your mammogram is certified in mammography (specialist have more specific training)
• If you are younger than 40 get a clinical breast exam preferably every 3 years
• Request that high-quality mammograms and treatment centers be made available to the poor and underinsured.

You can read the entire article in the May issue of Essence Magazine. 

Ladies we can LIVE! but we have to take an active part in our own health and lives.

Hugs and Blessings.

LOVE IS.............

The goal of this blog is to encourage, uplift, motivate and sometimes entertain women much like myself, who are mature and have had many interest in life.  Sometimes we are late bloomers but eventually we finally find our place of peace, happiness and contentment.  You may look at the title and think what in the world is she yammering about now!  So, I'm sitting in my room enjoying the my morning coffee. I had just watched Steve Harvey promote the upcoming movie adaptation of his best selling book.  Which you know of course, got me to thinking, how wonderful it would be if there were such a thing as a love store.  What could possibly be more fabulous!  A store where you can put your request in for exactly what you want and need.  Sounds great doesn't it! except do you really know what you want and need?  If not, that would definitely pose a problem.  What's most important to you?looks, height, weight? Do you need someone intensely serious or someone who loves to joke?  Light skin, dark skin or in between? Does he need to be romantic or will his just remembering your name work for you?  Wouldn't it be groovy if there were an assembly line of hunky gorgeous men almost made to order just waiting to receive the finishing touches just for you?  But of course that's not how it works. 

The fact of the matter is, Love is beautiful and fleeting, soothing and painful like the birth of a child, challenging and enduring; love of a parent; love is having a life long friend; love is intimate; love is playful and loud; love is a shopping trip with your BFF; love is a late night conversation with your Boo! love is dancing in the kitchen to an old school song that no matter how many times your hear it you can't help but dance. Love is life long memories of people who've affected your life in positive ways. 

I recently saw a posting on fb that said be F.L.Y (First Love Yourself)  You can't love others if you don't love yourself.

None of us would be here if our Mama didn't feed herself first in order to get nourishment to us as she carried us in her womb.

What Love is to some may not be for others, just like a buffet we choose what we need, crave and enjoy.  Now our taste will definitely vary.  However the ONE THING LOVE should never be is painful physically, emotionally or mentally.

LOVE is NEVER EVER Abusive.

One of my favorite songs is by Musiq SoulChild.

"Love, so many people use your name in vain; Love, but those who have faith in you sometimes go astray; Love, through all the ups and downs' joys and hurts; Love, for better or worse I still will choose you first"

I don't think there are enough words to describe what love is.  It just IS................

Hugs and Blessings, Val

Wellness Wednesday (To Drink or not to Drink) that is the question?

This is definitely something that I'm writing to myself as much as I am sharing with you all.  Let's just get to the nity-grity I HATE WATER! now that I've gotten that out of the way, it's time to deal with reality.  Water is the most essential, nutrient we can give to our bodies.  Water is a great way to make you feel full.  A full feeling could lead to less snacking.  Water also hydrates the body, that has been directly connected to promoting healthy skin. 

Sometimes a Diva has to just put on her big girl panties and do what is necessary to do.  That being the case, I drink water as much as I possibly can.  I know it's good for me and it's a necessity. 

http://www.shapefit.com/water-benefits.html

So ladies, drink up!

Hugs and Blessings, Val

LET IT GO! (TIME TO RENEW)

One of my favorite seasons is spring.  I love the spring because it represents renewal. The trees renew their blossoms, the flowers re bloom as well. We shed our heavy winter clothes for lighter clothes, but it's not quite too hot out!  It's as if nature is saying LET IT GO! Time to renew.

Well I'm telling you LET IT GO!, what are we letting go of?  Everything that is holding us back from blossoming into the fabulous women we were meant to be.

LET IT GO! past hurts and disappointments that continue to hold us back from moving forward.  Have you ever heard a tree say I'm not going to blossom this year because I wasn't as beautiful as the tree beside me? I know its silly but think about it.  Or have you ever met a child that refuse to grow because another child grew taller or faster.

It may seem silly but so does holding on to hurts for decades upon decades.  You say well I need closure from the person that hurt me.  Well guess what!  that person is not around so why continue to allow them to have that power of hurting you over and over again by not releasing that old hurt and moving forward.  


There is soooooooooooooooo much potential in you that is being blocked by your taking up space in your heart and in your life holding on to past disappointments, hurts and wounds.  What are you waiting for? LET IT GO!

How can you ask God to send you love when your holding on to the old love.  If we continued to pile food in our refrigerator without removing the old items, then eventually the fridge will not only be filled to capacity but I imagine it will start to smell.  Ewwwwwww! 

Today  April 2nd, 2012 Find a quiet place to go,  make peace with your mind, body and spirit by LETTING GO!

Hugs and Blessings, Diva Val

FASHION FRIDAY (WHAT IS YOUR BRAND/STYLE)

Girlfriends, do you know what your brand or style is?  Do you even have a style? I was wandering through a clothing store, waiting for my son.  I won't name the store but the initials are Burlington Coat Factory LOL.  I was originally looking for a suit, however I stumbled upon a cute dress that actually had a crinoline skirt underneath.  I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the look of the dress and though how beautiful and feminine women use to dress in the 1950's.  I have a confession.  I use to be a huge Doris Day fan, reason being I simply love the clothes she wore in her movies.  I proudly label myself as a girlie girl.  Now I know that is not every one's style but it is mine.  I love clothing that is chic and feminine and most of all comfortable.  When I wear a clothing item it needs to feel as comfortable as my own skin. 

Now I want to just touch on something that is utterly important.  The older we get things change in and on our body.  Chances are if you are in your 30's; 40's 50's and older, gravity has very well taken it's toll on your body.  Throw in pregnancies, those dreaded stretch marks, weight gains, weight loss etc. your breast now has it's own zip code!  Now I'm not saying this to get down on anyone. I am definitely included in this group. My point is we cannot and should not want to wear in our mature age clothes that we would and could wear in our early 20's. 

Having lost a lot of weight gives me the option of being able to shop virtually anywhere except plus size stores, which I have to say I miss my Ashley stewards  stores. Anyway! as a good friend once told me, because they make it in your size doesn't mean you should wear it.  At the tender not so young age of 47, I'm not trying to look like or wear the clothing of a 20 year old.  I'm not saying I need to look like a candidate for the Shadybrook Farms Retirement Home, but I'm not trying to look like a Hanna Montana fan either.

So what I've figured out about my Style or Brand is I love to look chic and classy with a dash of trendy with a schmere of classic mixed with a dollop of new.  LOL (sounds more like a recipe doesn't it)

When I walk out of my house I feel good and I own my look and that my dear sister friends is a GREAT feeling.

If you haven't figured it out, I challenge you to find or develop your style/brand.  It's not to late.





Hugs and Blessings, Diva Val

WELLNESS WEDNESDAY (EXERCISE IS OUR FRIEND)

Good Wednesday my lovely sista friends, I just want to share a few words of encouragement about exercise; But before I begin let me give the disclaimer, I am not a Doctor, an exercise guru or a personal trainer.  I am, however, a woman who has battle the better part of my adult life with weight.  As I stated in a previous blog I chose to have gastric bypass surgery.  Now I have heard folks say doing so is cheating.  Cheating what death? Then cheat I did.  Having surgery was not nor will it ever be a magic pill.  Just like the contestants on the show Biggest Losers or some of the very well known weight loss programs, We (bariatric surgery patients) have to work to maintain our weight loss.  Now I wish I could tell you how much I simply live to exercise but that would be the biggest lie known to man! lol I don't mind however exercising for the simple fact that I enjoy where I am health wise and want to maintain my good health. 


I am a HUGE fan of the show Biggest Losers, this year the theme is eliminate excuses.  Well I challenge you to eliminate the excuses.  There are a variety of things people can do to get fit and healthy.  The NUMBER ONE thing a person can do that is absolutely free is WALK.  Walking is a fabulous way to loose and maintain weight loss.  Find a school track, or a walking trail to just walk.  If you live in a community that provides free gym access then GO. It amazes me how people whine and complain about not having enough time to work out, but spend hours on end, talking on the phone, watching tv or surfing the web.  Studies show that just 30 minutes a day of brisk walking can make a difference in your overall health. 


Spring has seemingly arrived early, this is a great time to get on track by walking or incorporating any type of exercise regimen.  We all want to look good and feel good this summer, but we don't want it to be temporary.  I don't know about you but I intend to be fit, lovely and active for a very long time.
Why don't you challenge yourself and join me by moving your body in exercise.


Come on ladies MOVE YOUR BODIES!  I know we can do this.



Hugs, and Blessings, Val

WHAT'S YOUR STORY?

I was channel surfing and came across the opening for a christian show that was coming on.  It really captured my attention. Words would flash across the screen. The question was asked if we believed and knew when Christ would return what would we do differently, who would we talk to, who would we help?  That got me to thinking about my life story.  It also got me to think about a sermon I once heard.  The speaker's topic was about the dash in between the date of birth and the date of a person's passing.  The speaker stated that dash represents everything in life that took place from birth until the end of one's life, now I don't want you to get all upset and think OMG she's being morbid.  I know people get very uncomfortable about the topic of death. This my dear friends is not about death, this is about life!  Let me ask you, if someone were to write about your life, and or make a movie about your life, what would it be about?  What would you want the book to say or not say?  Would you be pleased with the story?  Would you want parts or all of your life re-written?  Now you might be thinking Val what's your point?  No ONE can write your story better than You!  Any great writer knows that in order to get to the end of a great story it may have to be re-written several times.  Be honest with yourself would you be pleased right here and now if you wrote your story.  Well I challenge you to write your story, and if you find your are not please start writing the sequel. The Part II of your story.  This is what my blog is all about.  It's about the Sequel or the Second Part to a very interesting story.  I personally feel the beautiful Angela Bassett would be the best person to play me in a movie, LOL just kidding. 

I recently had a conversation with a lovely and wise woman, Ms. Tina Hines of FOR MY SISTER FRIENDS,  http://www.formysisterfriends.org/  I explained that I sometimes feel like I'm all over the place with my ideas and plans concerning business.  Tina asked me was I the same person at the age of 20 that I was at the age of 16, and of course I said no I was not I had changed.  She then stated "why would you not expect your ideas and plans to change".  She was right of course, change is inevitable. The beauty of life is we can choose to sit on the sidelines and watch or we can become an active part of life.  The fact that we are still  here among the living to tell our story whether you acknowledge it or not is a blessing.  The bigger blessing however, is not only to tell the story but to live it.

I love to write, so I certainly know the first thing I put to paper is not always what I end up with as a finish product.  That being the case, it doesn't discourage me from continuing to write.  Now at this stage of my life I am proudly revising my story and it's fabulous! I would be lying if I said each and every chapter is about happiness, and flowers, and running threw a field of lilies toward a tall fine hunky Man who sweeps me up in his arms and carries me away. Wait isn't that a butter commercial? LOL anywho, a great story has highs and lows; funny parts and sad parts; A great story may have a little mystery in it or some sweet poignant parts to it.

So today my lovely friends I challenge you to revise your story.  Make your story what you want it to be it's not to late!  Would your story put folks to sleep?  Then it's time to spice things up for the revision.

Get up stop sitting around whining and complaining it's time to live your new story!

WELCOME TO FASHION FRIDAY (Beauty Begins Within)

I began the journey of writing this blog to not only keep my mind sharp and fresh but to share my journey in the hopes of encouraging others.  Begining a blog in and of itself is an interesting journey  and I am enjoying every minute of it.  It is however, my desire to encourage women to have balance as we grow in years.  As we grow older and wiser we recognize many things will change some way beyond our control.  That being said, we don't have to sit on the sidelines helplessly.  We can do things to make sure we live a happy, balance, peaceful, successful life.  To get this segment started I've invited my very good friend Calandra the Author of THIS AND THAT WITH CALANDRA to share some of her Fashionista wisdom with us. 

Read and enjoy!

Beauty is NOT Only Skin Deep by: Calandra Branch

 “We wear the mask that grins and lies. It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes.” – Paul Lawrence Dunbar

When Valerie asked me to write this blog post, so many ideas flooded my head – I thought of all the makeup applications I had done, videos, FOTD (Face of the Day) posts on my blog, etc. But as she launches her new series of health and wellness posts, I thought it would be more appropriate to start with the basics. A bare face…clean slate…a blank page. THIS is where the rubber hits the road.

At a recent mini-makeup party my best friend and I hosted, I started the event by saying, “If you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin, WITHOUT makeup, then you should leave right now because this party isn’t for you.” Of course I was being dramatic, but my central thought was sincere. True beauty comes from WITHIN. The most beautiful makeup will do nothing for an ugly personality. Now, can makeup help you feel better about your appearance? Absolutely!! I attended a formal function several months ago and rocked my first real black smoky eye. And yes, I looked in the mirror, grinned from ear to ear and said, “Girl you betta WORK!”

Ladies, don’t fall for the makeup okie doke. Don’t get me wrong…I love a good “beat” face like the next woman But what I love more is seeing healthy, naturally sun-kissed skin radiating a glow of self-confidence and self-love, whether bare-faced or with a ‘pop’ of color! Be beautiful…be healthy…be YOU!

 http://calandrabranch.wordpress.com/

WELCOME TO FASHION FRIDAY (Beauty Begins Within)

I began the journey of writing this blog to not only keep my mind sharp and fresh but to share my journey in the hopes of encouraging others. Begining a blog in and of itself is an interesting journey and I am enjoying every minute of it. It is however, my desire to encourage women to have balance as we grow in years. As we grow older and wiser we recognize many things will change some way beyond our control. That being said, we don't have to sit on the sidelines helplessly. We can do things to make sure we live a happy, balance, peaceful, successful life. To get this segment started I've invited my very good friend Calandra the Author of THIS AND THAT WITH CALANDRA to share some of her Fashionista wisdom with us.

Read and enjoy!

Beauty is NOT Only Skin Deep by: Calandra Branch

“We wear the mask that grins and lies. It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes.” – Paul Lawrence Dunbar

When Valerie asked me to write this blog post, so many ideas flooded my head – I thought of all the makeup applications I had done, videos, FOTD (Face of the Day) posts on my blog, etc. But as she launches her new series of health and wellness posts, I thought it would be more appropriate to start with the basics. A bare face…clean slate…a blank page. THIS is where the rubber hits the road.

At a recent mini-makeup party my best friend and I hosted, I started the event by saying, “If you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin, WITHOUT makeup, then you should leave right now because this party isn’t for you.” Of course I was being dramatic, but my central thought was sincere. True beauty comes from WITHIN. The most beautiful makeup will do nothing for an ugly personality. Now, can makeup help you feel better about your appearance? Absolutely!! I attended a formal function several months ago and rocked my first real black smoky eye. And yes, I looked in the mirror, grinned from ear to ear and said, “Girl you betta WORK!”

Ladies, don’t fall for the makeup okie doke. Don’t get me wrong…I love a good “beat” face like the next woman But what I love more is seeing healthy, naturally sun-kissed skin radiating a glow of self-confidence and self-love, whether bare-faced or with a ‘pop’ of color! Be beautiful…be healthy…be YOU!

http://calandrabranch.wordpress.com/

Welcome to WELLNESS WEDNESDAY (It's My Anniversary)

Ladies, I'd like to share something very near and dear to me.  On March 17th I celebrated 4 years out from bariatric surgery.  I made the decision after careful consideration, personal research regarding the pros and cons and much prayer.  What prompted me to even consider the surgery was loosing my only sister to a massive heart attack in 2000.  She passed exactly one month before her 41st birthday. To say that my family was devastated would be an understatement. One of the last conversations we had was her concern for my health.  It wasn't because I was sick, but neither was she.  I was, however, morbidly obese.  My sister did have a chemical imbalance that cause her cholesterol level to be extremely high.  It was comical to see people's response when she would introduce me as her little sister as I was twice her size. Family history aside, I made the decision some 8 years later to save my own life. What I mean is I was unhappy with the way I felt and looked.  I could no longer hide in my house and under layers of clothes hoping the world wouldn't see me.  I had to stop playing the victim and being selfish. That's right I said being selfish.  When you fail to deal in reality about your health and well being, you not only put yourself in jeopardy you put your love one's in jeopardy too. The devastation of loosing someone you love unexpectedly is a hurt and pain that is inexplicable. 

After experiencing and dealing with some very traumatic situations in my life I did what a lot of people do, I medicated myself with food. The results was obesity, depression, shame of allowing myself to get to that place and physical pain i.e. back pain, knee pain etc. 

March 17, 2008 I had gastric bypass surgery.  According to the Nurses I was the poster child for Gastric Bypass.  I didn't have any complications at all and a week or two later I was feeling great! Now I'm not suggesting that anyone overweight run out and have surgery.  This was my decision and my Journey and it was one of the BEST decisions I have made as an adult.

Fast forward Four years and I am feeling FABULOUS, now I will confess that lately I haven't been exercising like I should but that is definitely about to change.  I am so blessed and eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father for allowing me to live through the surgery and to still be here to tell my story.  I share this in the hopes that it will encourage , enlighten and uplift someone. Whatever method you use to be a healthy you is groovy! lol I am proud to tell people I am 47 years young.  I thank the LORD every day, for each new day I see.

My beautiful sisters we come in different shapes and sizes and hues and it's a beautiful thing, let's just make sure we are healthy in our beautiful bodies.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,  I know full well  Psalm 139:14

hugs and blessings, Val

At my heaviest  

Current Day:

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

Last week I had the privilege of going home to NY to visit my family.  I got to spend time with a relative I love like a sister.  We were having a conversation trying to play catch up and share what we have been going through lately.  When I shared with her that I had recently lost my job she said to me, "how do you have so much peace and calm" You see, as I was telling her some of the test and trials I had and was presently going through, I was smiling. I have FINALLY gotten to a place where I can smile in the midst of my trials. Now don't get me wrong I hurt and cry and question why like anyone one else.  What I've finally learned is to ENJOY MY JOURNEY. No matter what's going on in your life;  What's going to happen WILL happen. You can moan and groan your way through life or you can say THANK YOU LORD for another day to be greater than yesterday.  The following weekend I spent with my niece and my great nephew, who is 6 months old. I love spending time with my family. My niece and I went to service at her church. After service, we stopped at a local drug store.  As I was paying for my purchase the cashier complimented me on my nails.  She went on to tell me how after becoming very ill, having surgery and being on medication her nails became soft,weak and broke off.  I said to her "treat yourself". She looked at me like she was having a light bulb moment. She then stated she still has pain at times from her surgery and might get a massage.  I encouraged her to do so, because she deserved it. Now you maybe wondering how I would know she deserves it.  The fact that she got up out of her bed and came into work instead of feeling sorry for herself, to me, meant she deserved a good massage. I wish I had encouraged her to enjoy her journey.

Clearly as individuals, everyone's journey won't be the same. Some journeys will have more twist and turns than others.   Some people have a desire to travel abroad, while others would like to travel too the next State over.  Wherever your journey may lead you, ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY.  If you don't like the road you are traveling on, then change courses. If you were taking a trip and realize your were heading in the wrong direction would you continue on? So if you can't enjoy your journey because negative, stifling, painful situations are going on. It's time to make some changes so you too can enjoy your journey.

For all of you lovely Ladies who ARE enjoying your journey, don't loose that joy.

It is a fabulous feeling, a blessing and a joy to be able to ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY.


Hugs and Blessings, Val

REMEMBER TO BREATHE

I LOVE music, it is a universal language.  Have you ever heard a song in another language and didn't understand the words, but you understood the sentiment?  Whether it was sad like a beautiful
Opera sung in Italian, you may not have understood what the songstress was saying but you felt the pain, the joy, the love, the happiness or the sadness.  One of my favorite Artist is Layla Hathaway the Daughter of the incomparable Donnie Hathaway.  On one of her CD's she has a song called BREATHE, I was listening and I thought yes this is it.  The chorus is. " You gotta believe that this ain't the end of the road, it's all a bad dream until you believe, you gotta know that the story  is still to be told. JUST BREATHE, remember to BREATHE".  The key to living is to continue to breathe. That means in spite of all that's happening to you and around you.  You have to continue to breathe to continue to live. 

Many of us are familiar with the book and then a movie adaptation of Terri McMillian's book waiting to exhale.  So many could relate to the movie because they felt like their lives were in limbo.  Like one very long inhale of breath; Holding, until finally you had to let go of the air that was stagnate. Now the Stagnated air could have been different things for different people. For some it was unhealthy relationships, to others it was holding on to past hurts; and to others, it was being paralyzed by fear.  Whatever it was, it prevented you from moving forward or for the sake of this blog it prevented you from breathing.  Taking in new, clean fresh air.  The beauty in all this, is you remembered to breathe, and you survived.  You didn't think you could, or would at the time but you did!

You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.  So if you don't remember to do anything else. REMEMBER to BREATH.

"The story is still to be told"  and it's a fabulous story!

AND THE WINNER IS...............

We all know award shows are to showcase and acknowledge people and their accomplishments in the various fields, categories, etc.  All year round, every year for years,  people are honored in some form or another for various reasons.  Well what happens when you are not a celebrity?  Who acknowledges the great things we all do every day.  From the mundane to the most elaborate,  women all over the world are making strives, and great accomplishments. With our awesome ability to be flexible and creative,  many of us deserve awards for simply surviving.  Some of you beautiful women have survived situations that a weaker person would not have been able to withstand.  So I'd like to take the time to HONOR You beautiful Divas for all of your accomplishments; for raising your children to be productive citizens despite their attitudes as children and teenagers without choking them; For making a healthy meal from scraps when the pantry was just about bare;  For keeping your head up when you rather stay in bed with the covers over your head; For being Mom and Dad when Dad was not in the picture; for having the courage to start that business, or go back to school;  It may have taken more than (4) years to finish college but YOU DID IT! and for that you are a Winner.  For making the sacrifice of not continuing college, so that your children could, YOU WIN;  For teaching your daughters how to be secure, beautiful strong women, YOU WIN; For showing your son how a woman is to be treated, YOU WIN.   For taking care of an elderly parent when your siblings would not, YOU WIN;  For walking away from a toxic relationship, knowing you deserved better, YOU WIN; For deciding you are worth a day at the spa. YOU WIN; for finally treating yourself to a much needed vacation, YOU WIN;  For recognizing that your mind, body and soul needs renewing and taking the steps to see that you do so, YOU WIN.  So as you read this blog today, take a second or two to give yourself a round of applause.  Go ahead and give your acceptance speech.  If no one ever tells you, let me be the one to say YOU ARE FABULOUS for all that you do, great or small.

AND THE WINNER IS........................ You Beautiful Diva.

hugs and smooches, Val

DRIVE OUT OF THE RAIN.

Well Ladies I'm back with a vengeance!  Having recently ended a relationship, a good friend of mine called to check on me to see how I was doing.  I shared with her how I was feeling not just about the relationship, but the disappointment in myself for allowing something I knew was not working for me to go on as long as it had.  She shared with me this scenario she said her Pastor's wife told them "if it is raining and you are driving, eventually you drive out of the rain storm".  I said to my friend, WOW that's a great subject/title to my next blog. My friend, I'll call her Ms. J said "If you are driving in a rain storm or even under a rain cloud you don't stop your car.  Neither will you turn around to go back into the rain.  If you continue to drive on and forward, eventually you drive out of the rain. When Ms. J asked me what am I going to do when the rain comes?  I cheerfully replied, I'm going to drive out of the rain and when I come out, I'm gonna open the sun roof and let the windows down and bask in the sun light.  So ladies, yes you've been hurt and or you've experience a loss. Don't stay in the rain, keep moving, keep driving, keep walking eventually you come out of the rain into the sunshine.  You've survived loss of love ones, loss of a job, loss of a career, loss of relationships, loss of finances etc, and guess what? you survived;  You kept moving and you made it out from the rain.  Hold on! there will be other storms, but just as you have survived other storms you'll survive the ones yet to come.

Hugs and Kisses, Val

I'm Back

It's been awhile, it's sooooooooooooo good to be back.  I had to take a short break but I'm back and ready to move on.  I am so excited to be able to once again share some words of encouragement.  I pray that with each posting, I can bring, life, laughter, encouragement, widsom and strength to all who dare to read this blog. So much has taken place in a short period of time, but for the better.  I'll try not to stay away so long.

Hugs and Kisses.

Diva, Val