THE END OF AN ERA

Aww my darlin Sista friends, time is quickly winding down and before you know it will we will be in a brand new year.  I recently took a quick trip home to NewYork to visit my family. While I was there, I got a craving for a NY staple some good ole white castles.  Now I have eaten this relatively cheap treat for years, but for some reason things did not turn out like it normanly does. After eating the tasty mini burgers I became so sick it was unreal.  At one point I thought I might have to go to the ER I was feeling so bad.  After drinking two cups of  hot tea and a few tums, I started feeling a tad bit better.  But the experience made me realize that this was the END OF AN ERA no more of the cute little burgers for me. Now the fact that I had enjoyed that food since I can remember meant nothing other than it's time to make a change.  In fact my coming to the conclusion that I can no longer eat that food means the END of an ERA.  Some of us need to come to the same conclusion things, need to change in our lives.  I know your mama and her mama did it that way but it doesn't mean it's working for you.  Yes you've been with that Man for years, but for years you have struggled, fought, disagreed and none of it for the good.  You are no better off today than you were 10 years ago.  Now I'm not telling anyone to leave their Husband, S.O. (significant other) or the likes;  what I am saying is sometimes it comes to a point where you have to recognize when it's time to close the chapter on something to start a new one.  Some of the most historic and popular locations, stores etc. after so many years realize things and times change and they have to make a change that may include ending the chapter.  I was so surprised and somewhat saddend when a very large popular high end store called Fortunoff's in New York closed.  That was the End of an Era for not just New Yorkers but people from around the world.  Within the next few days before we ring in the new year, I want you to think about your life now.  Are there things that you know have been going on for years that have not been beneficial to you and your family?  Are there some things that need to come to an end so that you can begin anew?

You want to be loved and have someone in your life who will appreciate the fabulous Diva that you are, but that love can't enter your life because you keep letting that same trifling tired, joker in and out of your life.  Blocking your blessing. Well my diva it's time to come to the END OF AN ERA.

What is the end of an era for you?  If you went to a buffet to have dinner, and you had food sitting on your plate that had turned cold and stale, the restauratnt brought out hot fresh food.  would you take that same plate with the cold food on it to get the fresh hot food? No you would get a new plate. 

There's a passage of bible scripture that says: Matthew 9:16,17 NIV

No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse.

Neither do men pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined.  No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are perserved.

Are you ready to come to THE END OF AN ERA.

Be blessed always, Diva Val

DON'T FORGET JESUS AFTER THE SEASON

Ok so after the christmas shopping, sales and bargins galore.  The children, spouse, parents, family etc are happy.  You smile as you watch that new flat screen tv or you're sore from playing so many games on the kids new wii or Xbox 360 what's next?  The New Year rings in with you promising yet another year to spend less money, to get out of debt. To join the gym to loose that baby fat although your baby is now 17 years old.  We all sing with Kirk Franklin Jesus is the reason for the season, but do we keep him in our lives all year round.  If I never post again and if I never get another opportunity to leave you with a word of encouragement.  This is the best one I could ever give DON'T forget Jesus after the Season. Make him as much a part of your Life as breathing and eating.  And if you've tried everything else to find happiness, joy, love, and peace of mind and it hasn't worked it's time to try something new. 

Rev. 3:20 NIV. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me..

Invite him in.  He'll be the best dinner guest you'll ever had.

love Always, Diva Val

BAGGAGE CHECK

So this time of year most of us are usually traveling.  I just took a weekend trip to visit one of my best friends in Greensboro NC.  Amazingly, I only took One bag.  Now you may be thinking and for this she felt the need to blog?  YES! my traveling with only one bag is EPIC.  I always over pack.  Why ladies do we do that?  IDK anywho this of course got me to thinking about the topic at hand.  BAGGAGE. As the year whines down what better time to let go of some of the baggage weighing us down and preventing us from moving forward in life. It's time my Sister friends to let go of past hurts, disappointments and regrets.  Ok so you didn't pledge when you were in college Get over it!  or you didn't finish college again GET OVER IT! if you want to go back then make it happen.  Your first boyfriend dumped you over 30 years ago and you still need closure ARE YOU SERIOUS? that looser was trying to hump everything with a pulse and you still going on about how he could have been the one REALLY? Divas let's loose the baggage. It's been weighing some of down for years and years.  Now you are 32 looking like a 69 year old.  You can use the best make up around it won't help.  I know this sounds brutal but it's real and needs to be said.  Aren't you tired of being tired and sad?  Then it's time to pack up all your stuff and drop it off at the nearest dumpster.  In the words of a great classis song I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW THE RAIN is gone and I'm gonna add the baggage too.  Ok ok it might sound corny but work with me.  As long as you get the message!  I'm so excited the closer we get to the New Year, what about you?  Are you writng out your goals, forget resolutions, be honest and be realistic and write out your goals for the New Year.  I know without a doubt you can do this.  I also know the year can be as great as you want it and make it.  But first you have to dump the BAGGAGE.   This is tight but it's right!

Be blessed, Diva Val

RUNNING ON EMPTY

Today I had to go get my hair did! It was a hot raggedy mess. LOL   I was soooooooooo glad to get in that chair to get my hair done.  While on the way I glanced at my gas meter to see it was almost on E. I knew however, that I had enough to get me to the salon.  That got me to thinking how often we run ourselves into the ground until we are running on empty. Especially this time of the year.  We run around like chickens without heads. from Thanksgiving until the New Year we are ripping and running. Well it's time to make a change. Let's start the new year with a new frame of mind. One that will allow us to take better care of ourselves without feeling guilty.  Each year I write out goals I want to accomplish for the year, its a fabulous way to stay on track in accomplishing things for your life.   One of the things it took me some time to learn was to slow down so I could gather my thoughts. I once heard someone say you can always be busy and never accomplish anything.  How sad but true, so if I have to slow way down and yet accomplish one or two things as oppose to being forever busy and accomplishing anything I choose the former.  How many times or days do you go to bed only to wake up tired?   If you are carrying more luggage under your eyes than the trunk of your car you my dear are running on empty.  Why does it take us being flat on our backs to realize we are over doing things?  Is the only time you can relax or slow down is to be sick? That's sad and unhealthy!  I urge you Divas please stop running on empty.  Find a quiet time for yourself. Listen to music, take a long hot soothing bath with some candles and a glass of wine.  That's not expensive nor is it something just for the movies.  And please for God's sake stop thinking you can't treat yourself to such things unless it's involving a Man! Screaming Snap out of it!.  Now this is in no way a shoop shoop (waiting to exhale moment)  It's just a call to action.  We have (29) days left to this year.  Let's start making plans now for a FABULOUS New Year.   Are you ready willing and able to start your second half.  I know I am.   Let's Get It Divas!

Be blessed, Diva Val

What is Your Plan? TIME TO WORK IT DIVA!

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, as with a lot of people.  Thanksgiving to many means great food, family and fun.  Some of us however, are humble and smart enough to take a moment to be grateful and give thanks for our blessings.  Others are even more proactive by giving back to the community.  Feeding those less fortunate than themselves.   For retailers this is the start of their busiest season.  Visions of dollars dancing in their heads.  Every year retailers plan creative ways to lure consumers in to their stores to spend your hard earned money.  My question to you my Diva Sister is do you have a plan?  Or do you stroll around the store in a zombie like state spending money you don't have plunging yourself deeper into debt? Do you have a plan for the holiday season? Have you ever taken the time to write out a plan for your life, daily, weekly, or monthly.  In a few short weeks we'll be entering the new year.  Do you have a plan for the new year?  If so I'm here to encourage you. WORK YOUR PLAN!  What are you waiting for?  What are you afraid of?  Take a minute and think about it.  What's keeping you from working your plan?  You've been saying for years you'd like to go back to school for nursing.  Well there's no time like the present.  What's holding you back?

I was talking to a friend recently, she shared how she would be doing somethings alone for the first time in a  long time.  So I say to her ok, now it's time to do you.  Form a plan, move forward and work your plan.  Now I'll be honest having a plan doesn't mean you won't encounter some set backs. It's a good possibility that you will, but so what if you do, you just regroup and keep moving forward.  You say you want to loose weight not only to look good but to feel good.  Do you have a solid, reasonable plan?  When I say reasonable I mean obtainable. You know like loosing 5 lbs in a month that my friend is reasonable not loosing 40 lbs in a month.

I love writing out goals for the year.  It helps me stay focused. there are times when I've met all my goals there were times when I did not.  I continue, however, to write them out, check them throughout the year and it feels fabulous when you get to check one off as accomplished.  So I'm taking this opportunity to encourage you all to WORK YOUR PLAN! Stop making excuses; Stop procrastinating! Stop shuckin and jivin! lol that's right I said it.  It's time to stop blaming, Mama, Daddy, Brother, Sister Uncle Raybud, and Aunt SusieQ.  If you don't have a plan make one, then like Nike Just do it.  Just like you worked those fabulous pumps with that black dress. WORK YOUR PLAN.  Rather than run around the mall and stores like a chicken without a head. Make a plan before you even step into the store. Stay focus I don't care how cute the commercials and sales people are have a plan and stick to it.

Let's prepare NOW for the New Year.   Just like you planned to camp outside the store so that you could buy your baby that game he/she so desperately wanted only to play with it once for 20 minutes on christmas day.  Use that same tenacity to WORK YOUR PLAN.

Together we can live a life of purpose.  We are strong, intelligent, creative, resilient and we can WORK OUR PLANS.

Be Blessed, Diva Val

Fabulous Fashion Friday

Well Divas, we've made it through our first full work week YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! lol thanks for hanging in there with me.  As time goes on I'm getting the hang of this more each day.  I'm excited and happy about the opportunity to share my thoughts. Today I wanted to dedicate to fashion and or the importance of looking good, because let's face it when you look good you  feel good! How many times have you felt kind of blah! but needed to go out. Once you got all dressed up your attitude changed and you felt like D@$M I look good! lol.  I'm sure we've all felt that way a time or two I know I have and chile let me tell you.  You could not tell me a thing! What do you do to not only make yourself feel good, but look good.  Do you exercise, and eat well. Do you take good care of your skin.  If so what products do you use.  I love makeup and I'm fortunate enough to have learn over the years how to apply it so that it enhances my skin. If makeup is not your thing I understand.  If you do wear makeup what do you use?  How do you decide what skin care products to use. Do you rely on magazine recommendations like Essence. Vogue, Cosmo, Ebony?  Are you like me, I could open my own makeup and skin care counter lol but I LOVE it!  Tell us how lovely and how great you feel when you get dressed.  What's some of your favorite things to wear.

Finally What is the one makeup or skincare thing you absolutely won't leave home without.  For me I have a gazillion lip glosses. I NEVER LEAVE HOME without a lipgloss I don't know about American Express but I never leave home without my gloss lol

Be Blessed, Diva Val

The Strength of a Woman

Greetings Diva,

I thought long and hard about the words of encouragement I could possibly share with my lovely Diva Sisters.  The thought that came to mind is Strenght.  Surely by now we all realize it was not by accident God chose women to be the vessel by which life begins. Not only are we the incubators who nurish and nurture the growth of a baby, but we deliver a baby through tremendous pain.  How is this significant?  We women have incredible strenght, no matter the circumstances.  Can you recall a time where you pushed past the pain to move forward.  How many times have you been ill, but continued to care for your family feeling like something the cat dragged out and left on the road. Have you ever had the flu or a raging cold and still had to clock in to your number one job your mommy role?  Or gone to work when you rather have been ran over by a speeding train? These my lovely divas are perfect example of our strenght.  Only a woman could find four common items in the fridge and turn it into a meal.  We are not only strong we are creative, innovative and resilient.  No matter what anyone has EVER told you.  YOU ARE STRONG!  How do I know this?  You are here. Despite all of the possible things you've experienced you survived it and you are still here. 

I started this blog at a time when most people would be extremely depressed.  I had just lost my job. In spite of this.  I am encouraged and motivated so much so I wanted to share with others words of encouragement and motivation.  Years ago there was a wonderful gospel song we use to sing "Trouble don't last always".  Well I believe that with my hole heart.  And when trouble arrives my dear Sisters.  We are strong enough to handle it.   No matter what, please remember you are STRONG.

be blessed

Self Confidence

Thank you ladies for your comments to today's topic.  Self esteem is essential to our success. It is not always the easiest thing to maintain especially when you are in the midst of turmoil in your life.  But I am here to tell you, that you can ACCOMPLISH Anything you set your mind to do.  Furthermore, you're worth it.

Lynn thank you for sharing your story with us Diva. I cannot wait until you are having the opening to your bake shop, restaurant or catering business. 

From My Diva Heart to Yours

Self Confidence where are you when I need you?

Greetings Divas,

Today I want to address the subject of self confidence.  There have been times in my life when my self confidence took a bus ride out of town. I wanted to do something or try something new and lost the nerve to do it.  I'm sure we've all experienced that a time or two. While reading I came across a definition of self-esteem. Self-esteem = the ability to be unaffected by other people's opinions.  Have you ever had jewelry that's been cleaned.  You didn't replace it altogether it just needed a gentle cleaning and that same piece looked totally new.  It's time to blow the dust off of  that dream you had of going back to school or starting that business.  Don't you dare worry about other people's opinion. You got this!  Today take a minute or two for yourself, block out the kids, dog, hubby, work, er'body and think about something you've been longing to do. Maybe you've wanted to take up yoga and improve your health and body or take up marital arts.  Maybe for years you've longed to travel in the secondhalf of your life.  Find a bank or credit union that offers a christmas club and start saving for a travel fund.  Have you wanted to learn a second language?  Let the library be your friend if you can't afford those expensive language programs. The sky is truly the limit. I'm excited for what's about to take place for you in the secondhalf of your life Diva.  Are you ready for the journey?  I'm waiting to hear from you.

From my heart to yours,

Mean Girls

Good Morning Divas, another great and blessed day is upon us.  The idea for this venue is to encourage Divas to never give up their dreams and to encourage each other to move forward in improving our lives to be greater than our past life. Making your present and future greater than your past. I believe in order to do this, not only do we have to be diligent in moving forward, but we will need to address some issues that prevent us for accomplishing our goals.  A few years ago there was a book, movie and show addressing a very ugly situation that was going on with the female population.  All three, the book, movie and show were called mean girls.  Some women find it extremely difficult to be supportive of other women.  This is important because in our endeavors we need the support of our family, friends, and community to truly be successful. I never understood the cattiness that went on between women.  Why if you paid a woman a compliment on her hair, or some clothing and inquired where she got her hair done or where she purchased her clothes or shoes it suddenly became a question of national security.  Tell me how you feel about it?  How can we change things around.  Is this a form of insecurity?  Take a minute to do a quick evaluation.  Are you a mean Girl/Woman?  Have you encouraged anyone lately to reach a goal or a dream?  Do you receive the support you need.? Share your thoughts with us.  Tell us how we can help you make the most of your second half of life. Don't be afraid Divas to support another woman in her endeavors. There is more than enough room for us all to be successful in whatever field, idea, goal or dream you are working for.

Have you recently returned to school, started a new career? Have you finally met that fabulous Man after so many years of being single,  Please share your story with us.


luv ya, Val

New Week, New Day - Second Half

After a wonderful weekend with family a new week begins.  So begins a new opportunity to work on our second half whatever our second half may be.  Have you been contemplating finding a new career or job.  In the current economy we are all apprehensive about making change.  Change however, is not only good it's necessary.  As we enter the holiday season, this may be a great time to turn that hobby into a side business or what we term as a side gig, or hustle.  So what is your side hustle? Are you great at making crochet sweaters, clothing, blankets ets.  Is baking your thing?  Cooking? What about scrapbooking? Are you gifted in those things?  How about making fabulous scrap books for family and friends. That would be a great holiday gift and well worth the cost. How about begining writing out the plan for your business or new career. What better time to start writing out the plan to be ready for the New Year which is fastly approaching. Start researching funding to return to school. Come on Ladies let's Change the Second Half of our lives. The kids are growing and or grown. You've given all you could and had to see that they had what they needed. Now is Your Time!.  What are you waiting for to enjoy, the second half of your life. You can do this! Take a leap of faith and work on the next part of your life STARING YOU.

And So We Begin.

I am sooooooooooooo excited.  I have been longing to do this for some time.  I know there are many woman like myself who are contemplating and or working toward changing the second half of their lives.  Now there is no set time for the second half.  It could occur at any point in one's life.  I've recently celebrated a birthday and had been praying and planning to make a major change in my life.  I have wanted to own my own business since I was a teenager. As many of you know this very small word called life sometimes derails our plans.  After reading a fantastic book called Second Acts that change lives by Mary Beth Sammons, I felt compelled not only to move forward in those plans but to share this life journey with others contemplating the same.  So Diva's please join me on this Second Half Journey.  Whether it's a new career, turning a hobby into a business or going back to school.