ENJOY THE JOURNEY

Last week I had the privilege of going home to NY to visit my family.  I got to spend time with a relative I love like a sister.  We were having a conversation trying to play catch up and share what we have been going through lately.  When I shared with her that I had recently lost my job she said to me, "how do you have so much peace and calm" You see, as I was telling her some of the test and trials I had and was presently going through, I was smiling. I have FINALLY gotten to a place where I can smile in the midst of my trials. Now don't get me wrong I hurt and cry and question why like anyone one else.  What I've finally learned is to ENJOY MY JOURNEY. No matter what's going on in your life;  What's going to happen WILL happen. You can moan and groan your way through life or you can say THANK YOU LORD for another day to be greater than yesterday.  The following weekend I spent with my niece and my great nephew, who is 6 months old. I love spending time with my family. My niece and I went to service at her church. After service, we stopped at a local drug store.  As I was paying for my purchase the cashier complimented me on my nails.  She went on to tell me how after becoming very ill, having surgery and being on medication her nails became soft,weak and broke off.  I said to her "treat yourself". She looked at me like she was having a light bulb moment. She then stated she still has pain at times from her surgery and might get a massage.  I encouraged her to do so, because she deserved it. Now you maybe wondering how I would know she deserves it.  The fact that she got up out of her bed and came into work instead of feeling sorry for herself, to me, meant she deserved a good massage. I wish I had encouraged her to enjoy her journey.

Clearly as individuals, everyone's journey won't be the same. Some journeys will have more twist and turns than others.   Some people have a desire to travel abroad, while others would like to travel too the next State over.  Wherever your journey may lead you, ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY.  If you don't like the road you are traveling on, then change courses. If you were taking a trip and realize your were heading in the wrong direction would you continue on? So if you can't enjoy your journey because negative, stifling, painful situations are going on. It's time to make some changes so you too can enjoy your journey.

For all of you lovely Ladies who ARE enjoying your journey, don't loose that joy.

It is a fabulous feeling, a blessing and a joy to be able to ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY.


Hugs and Blessings, Val

REMEMBER TO BREATHE

I LOVE music, it is a universal language.  Have you ever heard a song in another language and didn't understand the words, but you understood the sentiment?  Whether it was sad like a beautiful
Opera sung in Italian, you may not have understood what the songstress was saying but you felt the pain, the joy, the love, the happiness or the sadness.  One of my favorite Artist is Layla Hathaway the Daughter of the incomparable Donnie Hathaway.  On one of her CD's she has a song called BREATHE, I was listening and I thought yes this is it.  The chorus is. " You gotta believe that this ain't the end of the road, it's all a bad dream until you believe, you gotta know that the story  is still to be told. JUST BREATHE, remember to BREATHE".  The key to living is to continue to breathe. That means in spite of all that's happening to you and around you.  You have to continue to breathe to continue to live. 

Many of us are familiar with the book and then a movie adaptation of Terri McMillian's book waiting to exhale.  So many could relate to the movie because they felt like their lives were in limbo.  Like one very long inhale of breath; Holding, until finally you had to let go of the air that was stagnate. Now the Stagnated air could have been different things for different people. For some it was unhealthy relationships, to others it was holding on to past hurts; and to others, it was being paralyzed by fear.  Whatever it was, it prevented you from moving forward or for the sake of this blog it prevented you from breathing.  Taking in new, clean fresh air.  The beauty in all this, is you remembered to breathe, and you survived.  You didn't think you could, or would at the time but you did!

You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.  So if you don't remember to do anything else. REMEMBER to BREATH.

"The story is still to be told"  and it's a fabulous story!

AND THE WINNER IS...............

We all know award shows are to showcase and acknowledge people and their accomplishments in the various fields, categories, etc.  All year round, every year for years,  people are honored in some form or another for various reasons.  Well what happens when you are not a celebrity?  Who acknowledges the great things we all do every day.  From the mundane to the most elaborate,  women all over the world are making strives, and great accomplishments. With our awesome ability to be flexible and creative,  many of us deserve awards for simply surviving.  Some of you beautiful women have survived situations that a weaker person would not have been able to withstand.  So I'd like to take the time to HONOR You beautiful Divas for all of your accomplishments; for raising your children to be productive citizens despite their attitudes as children and teenagers without choking them; For making a healthy meal from scraps when the pantry was just about bare;  For keeping your head up when you rather stay in bed with the covers over your head; For being Mom and Dad when Dad was not in the picture; for having the courage to start that business, or go back to school;  It may have taken more than (4) years to finish college but YOU DID IT! and for that you are a Winner.  For making the sacrifice of not continuing college, so that your children could, YOU WIN;  For teaching your daughters how to be secure, beautiful strong women, YOU WIN; For showing your son how a woman is to be treated, YOU WIN.   For taking care of an elderly parent when your siblings would not, YOU WIN;  For walking away from a toxic relationship, knowing you deserved better, YOU WIN; For deciding you are worth a day at the spa. YOU WIN; for finally treating yourself to a much needed vacation, YOU WIN;  For recognizing that your mind, body and soul needs renewing and taking the steps to see that you do so, YOU WIN.  So as you read this blog today, take a second or two to give yourself a round of applause.  Go ahead and give your acceptance speech.  If no one ever tells you, let me be the one to say YOU ARE FABULOUS for all that you do, great or small.

AND THE WINNER IS........................ You Beautiful Diva.

hugs and smooches, Val

DRIVE OUT OF THE RAIN.

Well Ladies I'm back with a vengeance!  Having recently ended a relationship, a good friend of mine called to check on me to see how I was doing.  I shared with her how I was feeling not just about the relationship, but the disappointment in myself for allowing something I knew was not working for me to go on as long as it had.  She shared with me this scenario she said her Pastor's wife told them "if it is raining and you are driving, eventually you drive out of the rain storm".  I said to my friend, WOW that's a great subject/title to my next blog. My friend, I'll call her Ms. J said "If you are driving in a rain storm or even under a rain cloud you don't stop your car.  Neither will you turn around to go back into the rain.  If you continue to drive on and forward, eventually you drive out of the rain. When Ms. J asked me what am I going to do when the rain comes?  I cheerfully replied, I'm going to drive out of the rain and when I come out, I'm gonna open the sun roof and let the windows down and bask in the sun light.  So ladies, yes you've been hurt and or you've experience a loss. Don't stay in the rain, keep moving, keep driving, keep walking eventually you come out of the rain into the sunshine.  You've survived loss of love ones, loss of a job, loss of a career, loss of relationships, loss of finances etc, and guess what? you survived;  You kept moving and you made it out from the rain.  Hold on! there will be other storms, but just as you have survived other storms you'll survive the ones yet to come.

Hugs and Kisses, Val

I'm Back

It's been awhile, it's sooooooooooooo good to be back.  I had to take a short break but I'm back and ready to move on.  I am so excited to be able to once again share some words of encouragement.  I pray that with each posting, I can bring, life, laughter, encouragement, widsom and strength to all who dare to read this blog. So much has taken place in a short period of time, but for the better.  I'll try not to stay away so long.

Hugs and Kisses.

Diva, Val

A TRUE LOVE STORY NEVER TOLD!!!!!

It's been awhile since my last posting.  I'm sure you are all aware of the little thing that intrudes from time to time called life.  I have made it my personal goal to use this blog to encourage people to rekindle their dreams and goals and set out to accomplish them no matter what age, time or station in life you currently hold.  Well this my friends is a Special Posting.  Today while riding home with my Mom from the hospital.  I heard one of the most beautiful love stories never told.  She recanted how she and my dad first met some 50 years ago on a cold February day thanks to a cousin of my dad's.  Now I was well aware of their anniversary, but the story she told was of the very first time they met.  She told that story with some much love and pride as if it had taken place just yesterday.  We were returning from the hospital where once again Dad needed to be admitted.  Once again we quitely, secretly prayed that he would get through this as he has previously.  I have read story upon story about the plight of black marriages and relationships. Or the beauty of Black love as if only desplayed by our illustrious President and First Lady.  Don't get me wrong I love the President and First Lady and I adore seeing the love and strength they display.  But I have had the previledge of seeing, knowing and experiencing the true beauty of unconditional love EACH and EVERY time I see my Mom and Dad sharing breakfast together, or enjoying a sitcom together sitting on the sofa watching the Big screen TV.  Growing up we knew with a certainty if Mama knows then Daddy knows and vice versa because that's the kind of connection they had and there were no secrets between them.  I remember many days of waking up, walking in the kitchen to see them quitely talking, sharing cups of coffee together.  As a child Mom worked during the day, and Dad worked during the night, if we needed to be picked up from school or taking to the doctor my dad was there.  If dad was home on a day off or on vacation when my arrived home dinner was done.  

Now many anniversaries, valentines day, christmases other holiday or celebration  have come and gone.  We the children are now all grown.  Their bodies have changed as well as their appearance.  What has remained is the unwaving love for each other.  I see the love and concern in Mom's eyes as she  holds dad's hands over the railing of the hospital bed.  I see and hear the love in his voice as he says thank you honey for being here.  I can spend hours upon hours encouraging people to live their best lives. Or following their most outlandish dreams and goals.  There is NOTHING that can compare to such sweet, long lasting, unconditional love.  The kind of love that makes a Man stand tall and do ANYTHING and  EVERYTHING to provide for his family. The kind of love that makes a woman to lay awake at night praying for her family.

Today while riding in the car I heard the GREASTEST Love story NEVER TOLD.  It is a story I'll always remember.

be blessed, Diva Val.

THE TIES THAT BIND US

I'm sure most of us have heard this expression before, The ties that bind us, what is it that binds us to our friends,co-workers, family etc.  I recently received word of the passing of a family memeber.  He was not a blood relative but he was family.  I started thinking about my extended family of friends.  Some I've knows for decades some in the past few years.  The word quickly spread of this dear friend and well respected Man's passing.  From reports I've received and snippits of his homegoing service I felt a sense of pride and sadness.  Sad that such a young man whom I liked and respected was gone to soon.  Sad that his family is now hurting over this loss and feeling a void in their lives. Proud however, that the extended family was out in numbers showing support.  The reason for this post is to remind us how important ties can be.  How crucial it is to have a great support system in your life.  Now a support system does not have to be limited to family, it could very well be friends, co-workers, teachers, church memebers etc. Oprah once shared how much a teacher touched her life and encouraged her.  She is convinced her support and encouragement played a huge role in shaping her into the woman she has become.  Reconnecting with my extended church family has been a blessing and a joy to me.  Thanks to FB we can reconnect from wherever we reside.  Who could not love the wonder and beauty of the internet?  The internet allows us to keep in contact with family near and far.  Those ties can be repaired, strenghten and reconnected.  When I was growing up in brooklyn, back in the day we still believed it took a village to raise a child, and a neighbor was definitely an extended family member.  If  Ms. Jackson told you to behave you dare not listen or the consequences would be equivalent to disrepsecting your very own parent.  How I long for those days.  In the meantime, I am blessed to have the ties that I have.  So during the course of the day, take a minute and think about the ties you have with your family and friends.    To all of my extended family new and old, I love you with all of my heart. I may not get the opportunity to tell you this in person or often please know that I truly do. 

Don't forget the ties that bind. 

Be Blessed, Diva Val